I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
