she was so not down for the gang bang
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
