at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
