Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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