I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize