did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
