Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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