We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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