I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
