my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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