it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
