Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
