I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
