looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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