How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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