My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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