The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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