i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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