I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
