I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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