suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize