ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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