yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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