dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize