I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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