She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He passed out mid-signature
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
