Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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