Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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