8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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