If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
how drunk are you?
Several
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
