Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
