Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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