Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So vagazzling was a success
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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