Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize