I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
