I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
