i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
