I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
as a side note pls kill me
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
