i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
