Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
