My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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