The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize