Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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