I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
