I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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