I cannot find my penis.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
