she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
