we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
