I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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