Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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