So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
