Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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