meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
