Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
