We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize