he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
he's gonorrhea incarnate
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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