Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
