Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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