Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
