So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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