So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
