so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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