is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
