the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
